Okay America:
My Belated Write-In Presidential Candidacy / Exactly-On-Time Announcement of new party for the Future
Disclaimer / Points of Certain Failure regarding November 6, 2012 Write-In:
• Many states have write-in registration requirements / deadlines, all of which I've missed.
• No write-in candidate could ever win White House (William Fife Knowland & Strom Thurmond won Senate seats…)
Platform for the future, starting now:
• no patriotic appeals, except as noted*
• separation of state and church (notion will sell better to the anti-government pro-religious fervent with this simple repositioning of nouns)
• tax reform, emphasizing an inheritance tax (percentile increase with age of wealth)
• marriage (& divorce) equality, even for plural marriage as seen in origins of "Governor" Romney's church (this is a dirty tactic to smear Mr. Romney; the plural marriage component likely to be abandoned in event of Mr. Romney's loss this coming Tuesday or whenever election outcome is eventually determined)
• a new branch of the military, dedicated exclusively to defending the sun; this is exception as our sole *patriotic appeal. We will pledge to claim the sun, the source of all life on Earth (… charging other nations for Sun Power & immediately remedying our economy forever into a state of dominance) for America, just as we placed the flag on the moon.
This will allow me,
as candidate,
to run
on endless pun
as America's Sun;
my name after all is the very solar Ray [legal name: Raymond. But I have history of also going by Ray, so there should be no concern that anyone can "Barry Soetoro" me. My birth certificate is yellow, like the sun, but I'm all Red White & Blue]. As untold billions (generated from aforementioned "Aristocrat Tax" as well as other, as-yet undisclosed means) will be spent, and lives lost, in this Solar Territory Expansion we will need to posit this as brave courageous and patriotic — but also strategic — ultimate drive for Energy Independence: acquiring and harnessing the greatest source of power in our solar system. Also, as it's the source of all life, this should inoculate our party (with a platform championing reproductive rights, birth control, and sexy new methods thereof) against any charges of not being pro-life enough.
Party to be named:
DAYLIGHT PARTY.
Again, being named "Ray" I am a natural candidate.
• full openness and transparency, exemplified by our signature Earthbound legislation, the "Daylight Act" (actualizing the second meaning of the Daylight name, in the “Sunlight is said to be the best of disinfectants.” sense)
• exposing the fatal flaws of both parties, which with each passing minute render the Republicans too evil and greedy, the Democrats too ineffectual and weak and compromised, and either/both too indistinguishable to lead This Great Nation, the Rightful Guardian of the Sun, These Free and Remarkable United States.
