the new never

when you want trouble, there is no trouble
- when you don't want trouble, there is
- when you have what you want, it is taken away
- when what's taken away appears before you, you are no longer sure you want it back
- when you balk at attempting to retrieve what was stolen, you wonder if you erred through pride or obstinacy
- there is no victory in the face of deeply experienced loss; what is lost cannot be retrieved
- memories of what is irrevocably gone do not bring comfort or relief, only a stinging rebuke of what has come in the wake of yesterday, the substitute experience that does't even pale in comparison; today is like a vapor in competition with a ghost (ghosts are forever; vapors mist away)

•• have I replicated the error yet?
•• have the errors of my way been documented in the process?
•• can there be a new always? or just the same old never?

{fin}