The Assistance Agenda

Walking DTLA thinking a moment that living in valley makes me feel like dying; suddenly hapless homeless one who can't get a dime nor anyone's time, mebbe that's it,  says of self "maybe I should just put a bullet in my head" so I say "I was just thinking the same" & homeless person pauses, thankfully doesn't mistake my reply in its loose grammar as a putdown endorsing his own action as he may have, instead gets I'm on about THe SELf too, & so pause over suggests team effort, "together" is the word - which is really only invitation I've received to join anyone in this town for anything, so that's nice and all - and I say "NO. No one'll like that, that's weird, double suicide?/murder suicide?/pact? No no no, no one's going for that, and just all no, don't. And No." & walk on, hoping his lot lifts, but not lifting a finger to help, though I lifted my voice purely within the assistance agenda, even though it's measurable just how much, in sympathy, I instinctively exaggerated for effect (THE reason to exaggerate, ain't it always ?) For see, foresee, he led the witness of my own thought, me / I misled the expression of my own head to respond to his proclamation; wasn't thinking valley makes me *feel like dying,* it's that it makes me feel *like I am dying.* Solution, to move, was maybe to here, downtown, like I've thought more than a decade. It's not working out for that guy, but it just might yet.