feel like I'm gonna see Christ

I feel like I'm gonna see Christ or
at least Lazarus come
gliding or
lumbering
(depending on the which)
out
that
cement
public wilderness
mystery
box
but I keep walking.

And it occurs to me I'm not even once dead
yet I feel the cold slab where I'm laid up; not
even once dead and ready for a third time
charmed if I can skip sorrowful seconds, time around.

And, realizing it's his move I've mimicked most, finally it dawns on me:
the only time I shouldn't aspire to Christ is when he's on the cross.